Category : RELATIONSHIPS
What does a healthy relationship feel like? in tune, relaxed, and just plain fun. But most of us are in an entanglement. A relationship is one in which both people are free to be themselves, yet there is no shortage of intimacy. No fear that doing what you love or being who you are or taking time for yourself will drive the other person away.
In a relationship, neither person needs the other to “complete” them. Both people are awake to themselves, their feelings and thoughts, and are open to the flow of love and attention with one another.
It’s about two equals celebrating together rather than “needing” something from the other.
Entanglements look and feel very different.
Signs You’re In An Entanglement
Entanglements may look like a relationship on the surface. You might spend a lot of time together, you’ve met each other’s friends and family, and people refer to you as a “couple.”
But you’re not having a real relationship – at least not one that is characterized by love and harmony. Entanglements masquerading as real relationships look like:
1. You keep having the same issues
When you find yourself having the same old argument with your partner for the umpteenth time, that’s a pretty good sign you’re likely in an entanglement.
2. You don’t feel safe or understood
One of the clearest signs of entanglement is that it is hard for one person to let the other person feel his or her feelings and tell the truth about them. Entanglements feel like you have to shut down a part of yourself. If you’re feeling like your partner just doesn’t get you, and that you’re not free to say exactly what’s on your mind, you know you’re not in a real relationship.
3. Someone always needs to be right
In a real relationship, each person is “awake” to his or her role in a problem, and the priority for both is growth. Entanglements are characterized by power struggles. Both people are vying for the title of victim, thus making the other the perpetrator. Nobody ever wins.
4. It’s just so hard
If you’re feeling drained with your partner, you’re likely caught up in an entanglement. In a harmonious relationship, both people take responsibility for any issues that arise, and they come up with creative solutions that further add to the positive feelings they share.
This month after many conversations on the topic – It dawned on me! The real issue of most is not knowing what a healthy relationship feel and look like. Therefore we keep re-enacting unhealthy dynamics we learned from our families or staying entangled for simply not knowing how it feels to be in harmony. Hence why I’m so grateful to Katie and Gay Hendrick’s work.
I’m baffled with how much time we waste with the wrong people and worst, how we tend to cave in out of habit. And when something better comes along we’re so used to entanglements – we cant’ recognized a when a healthier relationships knocks on our door nor free ourselves to experience what we deserve.
I hope you identify where you stand and make the choice to create a real joyful relationship and break away from the habits that keep you entangled.
Zulmarie Padín empowers millions of Hispanics with her TV segments in Despierta America via Univision and every Tuesday in Un Nuevo Dia which also airs nationally via Telemundo. Her laser coaching helps you change in minutes what you haven’t accomplished in years. Feel stuck? talk to her via phone or videocall to find the clarity you need to create what you want and have powerful results. To follow her conversation link to http://about.me/zulmarie