What do men really want?
Category : RELATIONSHIPS
What men really desire and want from women? Listen Women: if there’s one thing you’d like it’s a man that’s romantic and passionate. A confident guy that really goes after you and shows it. The shocker: MEN like the exact same from women.
Why wouldn’t guys like to be desired, appreciated, and courted? We ask so much of men – pursue me, risk my rejection, prove your long-term interest. In our minds, we think we can offer #sex in return – the timeless exchange of sex for resources – and our job is done.
The Last Psychiatrist in his rebuke to Lori Gottlieb’s book about settling, said:
You want something uplifting, so here you go: you can never have a good relationship with anyone when your focus is the relationship. There’s a human being there who existed well before you got to them, and they weren’t built for you or your needs or your future dreams as an actor. If you want to be happy with someone then your body and mind have to instinctively adapt to their happiness. If you’re not ready for this kind of sacrifice, then you’re simply not ready
1. Women understand, rightly or wrongly, that aggressive communication of desire is the most important female behavior in the hookup toolkit, and therefore reserved for the promiscuous girl.
2. A woman’s direct confession that she thinks a man is hot is likely to get her pushed up against the back wall for some serious making out, at the very least. To avoid this kind of misunderstanding women are reticent about expressing attraction, for fear of initiating an escalation they don’t want.
3. Women perceive that guys would prefer a hookup to a relationship so they play it cool to save face, and maximize their appeal.
What are some of the most effective ways that you can express a romantic and passionate interest in a man?
1. Let him know that you find him sexually desirable.
Jesus Mahoney addressed this brilliantly:
Strong and intelligent are good qualities, but I think above all, men want the women they’re with to be sexually attracted to them. Friendship is a great part of a relationship, but if you’re not tingling for him, then the man is going to know it and be unhappy.
A key insight:
I was asked what was the most important thing I looked for in a relationship & I said ‘bottomless desire” and he said “bottomless desire”
Many men’s deepest need is to feel desired to the extent that they feel desire for the woman they fall in love with. Because men, as a rule, feel sexual desire much more acutely than women, their experience of that need being met is very rare.
Men don’t fantasize about a handsome prince & a big wedding & a high-status steadfast provider for their children. But they do dream about a woman they will burn with in mutual desire for all eternity.
2. Provide real, nurturing affection and physical contact.
Athol Kay during his Girl Game series, wrote Touch is Love:
Most men are never routinely touched by anyone other than during handshakes, doctor visits or getting punched – playfully or otherwise. Even hugs from your mom tend to vanish at some point midway through childhood.
The other way men get physically touched is through sex. Half the reason men automatically think that getting touched by a woman is a direct line to the bedroom, is that all too often that’s the only time they get physically touched. A decent part of the reason men want sex is simply to get physically touched.
…So touch him. Rub his back a little. Cuddle. Kiss. Do whatever incidental touch you can.
3. Understand that men prize loyalty and faithfulness.
David Buss wrote about fidelity in The Evolution of Desire:
For American men, faithfulness and sexual loyalty are the most important of 67 desirability traits.
“Men worldwide want physically attractive, young, and sexually loyal wives who will remain faithful to them until death.”
These preferences are universal across all cultures and absent in none.
What do men really want? Devotion. Therefore, if women want a man to continue to consider them as a potential mate without displaying their devotion to him through sexual intimacy, they will have to keep his interest by displaying their devotion to him through other behaviors.
In short, if you can’t keep men interested in being around you without being sexually intimate with them, the problem is not with the men.
4. Communicate that you appreciate, admire and respect him.
The Rawness wrote this about how to be the perfect woman:
Even the men who appear the strongest secretly have a fragile ego. One of the biggest secrets men have is how delicate our egos are. If you publicly build up your man’s ego, whether in front of his friends, family or even total strangers, he will think you’re the most wonderful woman in the world. Yet feminism and the media has given woman some strange mental block about this, as if doing so is some admission of weakness on their part.
ZulmariePadín empowers millions of viewers via Univision with her national TV segment in Despierta America. Her laser coaching changes in minutes what you haven’t accomplished in years. Recognized as the coach for #Career #Success her new project unveils what modern women need to know to find true #Love